If you're a single
lady and have been under pressure to find a man that will put a ring on
your finger. This is the time to get your acts together and position
yourself properly. Stop playing hard to get, especially if you know that
age is not on your side and it's worse if you are not even a beautiful
girl.
This lady selected men when she was young. Now men are 'scarce' for her. See her story below:
Show Me The Market Where They Sell Husband, I Will Buy One...
I have heard the
question ‘are you married?’ more than the birthday wishes I receive
annually. At first, I used to sheepishly answer ‘no oooo, not yet’, then
I continued to ‘very soon’. After a while, I started claiming it by
fire by force, claiming that the man is on his way to meet me. All these
haven’t changed the fact that some years down the line, I am still not
married.
I have been in
relationships that were good and some bad. The good ones happened when I
was much younger and not ready to settle down; but the bad ones have
taught me the lesson of a lifetime. My last one got me dishing out my
money on a regular basis. All he had to do was come up with some story
of being unable to carry out some projects due to some financial
incapability. I was earning twice as much as he earned, would take a cab
to and from his place on weekends. Sweet Lover Boy would just stand by
the cab and wave me bye when he was leaving. I would cook his favourite
dishes too; all he had to do was say what he wanted to eat. All these
were with my very hard earned Naira. I never missed a moment to surprise
him – buying gifts, calling him hourly- all because I wanted a ring on
my finger.
It eventually
collapsed after I met his mum. Because, seemingly for no reason, she did
not like me and found me not worthy of her son. It was too late to
count my losses. How can I forget? He even lost his job mid-way into our
8 months relationship and yes, the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 would
have had to contest with me if she had a face. I was fending for both
son and mother. Lover boy would always complain of B if he got A and
complain about D when I made sure he eventually got B.
Before you start
saying ‘maybe, you are not good looking’, I dare say that if it was
beauty that kept a man, then Prince Charles would never have left Diana.
I am 5’7 and pretty. However, the men I have met after my ‘tales in
hell’ relationship are either married or about to get married. That is
not a life I would want for myself. Before you also say maybe you gave
too much away by cooking his meals or being generous or sympathetic, I
say to you ‘how can you please the world’?
The guy I dated
before Sweet Lover Boy got me something new every time we met, took me
to places I had only dreamed of, but I never got him anything. At a
point, he felt I was stingy. I never called with my airtime despite his
purchases of same for me. When we eventually broke up, he told me to my
face that I did not love him. In retrospect, I loved him, but I was with
the mindset that giving a man anything would cheapen the reason of
their existence. It hurt me when we broke up and then I resolved to give
and give and give and give in my next relationship.
Almost all of my
friends and colleagues are married, and from the look of things, it
seems like a good place to be in. The ‘my husband’, ‘my wife’ tales are
good to listen to sometimes. To love and be loved is the sweetest thing
that could ever happen to anyone. I desire that. In the meantime, I am
where I am, fasting and praying for this man.
Like couples long
for a child and ache at the sight of toys or children parties, I long
for an engagement ring and to splatter my wedding pictures on Facebook
(whether high profile or not), I long to gist others about ‘my husband
did this or said this’ (whether true or not).
Until he comes, I
am here, focusing on other things, moving my life forward, being a
better person every day. Technology has a bank for sperm or eggs for
couples experiencing infertility, sadly, there isn’t any for men.
So, friends and
colleagues, church members and distant relatives, until you show me the
market where to buy one from, please stop asking me if I am married.
By Gloria Jacobs
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